Note: If you wish to use the following information, please refer back to http://www.collectiveunconscious.org/ All quotes by Maynard James Keenan, transcribed by: Galen (gaspcdz@yahoo.com). The following are quotes compiled from the year specified. All quotes are available throughout the site along with the corresponding setlists,recording info and other various information. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 1993 ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Maynardism: "Anyone familiar with Al Rosen? Al Rosen? No? He's Ken's boyfriend" Maynardism: "So this next song is called Prison Sex, hope you like it" Maynardism: "Ok...we are down, now clap...now this is the encore" Maynardism: "Something interesting about the other day, about the time I was fortunate enough to spend some time in my room alone with Morrisey. So, after about an hour of fucking his ass as hard as I could, he reached up between his legs & gently cupped my balls. Then I said, 'what the fuck is wrong with you - sensitive guy? What kind of poof do you think I am? Let go of my balls.'" Maynardism: "Hi - we're Tool; we're from Akron, Ohio. We're a heavy rubber band - prepare to dance." Maynardism: "You people in the back look like you're sitting at home watching fucking MTV or something. Go home & do that..this is our last song, Fishbone is next." Maynardism: "Sorry, Prison Sex is tomorrow, you'll have to pay another $30 to hear that one. On your way out, pick up a $23 tee shirt. Some of you may recall a man named Timothy Leary:" Maynardism: "Hi. We're Tool. We're a punk, rockadilly ska-gay band from the Marshes of the Castle Earth. Uh...and we do a lot of rave so prepare to dance." Maynardism: "This is your brain & this is your brain on drugs" --- "Hi, we're Ted Nugent" Maynardism: "All you people you can come down here, the ushers will let you through" Maynardism: "Wake up, hippies. Hi, we're the Grateful Dead & it's 1970" Maynardism: "This song is called Undertow, it is the title track from our latest release. Go buy it so my rent's paid." Maynardism: "Blah-blah-blah." Maynardism: "Open the skin, let the sickness in, open my mouth, let the sickness out. Open my skin, to let the sickness in. I open up my mouth, to let the sickness out. This is Sober" Maynardism: "Hi, we're Tool. We're from Los Angeles. Welcome to Paris." Maynardism: "This is our last song. We'd like to thank Rage Against The Machine & Green Apple Quick Step, this is our last show with these people; bang 'em well." Maynardism: "Just happened to be in the neighborhood & thought we would make some fucking racket" Maynardism: "bahhh...this song is about 2,000 year old Iranian folk-tales & their effect on stupid people" Maynardism: (A quote from The Princess Bride) "My name is Inigo Montoya --you killed my father, prepare to die" Maynardism: "This song is for the amazing John Tucker - right back there." Maynardism: "This is the title track from out latest release called Undertow. If you're not familiar who we are we are called Tool, from Los Angeles, CA." Maynardism: (A quote from the film 'The Princess Bride': "Hello - my name is Inigo Montoya, you keeled my father - prepare to die." Maynardism: "Good morning." Maynardism: "We're Tool, we're from Los Angeles, CA." Maynardism: "In English?....sorry, we can't understand. Ignorant Americans. Sorry. I've been ignorant now for about 29 years..." Maynardism: "Good evening, we are Tool -- a heavy metal cover band from Akron, Ohio & we've run out of patience Maynardism: "This is a love song, goes out to anyone who's ever been raped before; called Prison Sex" Maynardism: "In case you didn't know, we are Tool from Los Angeles, CA. Better known as Maynardism: "'Grande Pousson-Blanc --- de whitefish. De whitefish." Maynardism: "Hi - we're Tool, we're from Los Angeles, CA & we are here to be very loud, very obnoxious & very unforgiving...we invite you to join us" Maynardism: "Moo --- Moo" Maynardism: "Pretend it's your birthday & we are doing all of this for you" Maynardism: "This is for John, JB... you little whore" Maynardism: "Hi - we are Tool, from Los Angeles; we're a heavy rubber-band from Akron, Ohio" Maynardism: "Prepare to lose your hearing" Maynardism: "We are Tool from Los Angeles, CA -- hopefully we'll be back there by the end of October" Maynardism: "So, that all concert clothes? Don't have anyhting better to do than come here? One of those guys from Green Jelly are here if anyone of you guys want to kick his ass if any of you want to just beat the shit out of him. You like that? What I thought." Maynardism: "Hi - we're Tool, we're from Los Angeles, CA and we have one mission & that is to make the world a better place to live in. So, what I'd like you to do now, I want you, you completely intellectually-inept Beavis & Butthead lovers, I want you to turn to those punk-rock haircut dudes & you punk-rock haircut dudes I want you to try be happy, savvy, fucking, dead-head hippie fucks, I want you all to give each other a big sloppy kiss & say 'I forgive you for being a fucking idiot! Thank you, goodnight...so you want us to play? We're the headliners so shut-up.'." Maynardism: "Ok...hey, Alister - we are having problems with people coming up to the stage & un-pluggins shit. That's kind of a problem because we are here to play some songs...whatever. You can come up, you know, and stand. Don't make those 80's guys beat you up - becuase they will." Maynardism: "Are you people on crack? Well, you should be - there's no excuse for this behavior. I imagine we are the people responsible for this chaos, right? This is a love song - it goes out to the person that put ecstacy in my cola." Maynardism: "Are you having any fun without hurting anyone?" Maynardism: "We need a volunteer...you! Get in the cage! This is what happens to people who are cooperative. This is a love song." Maynardism: "Ok -- we probably should have done this earlier but I suppose it's not too late; we need to take a thumb count, we need to make sure that everybody has thumbs. So, we'll use a lot of really big words tonight but I'd hate to have you go away tonight from here, thinking you didn't understand them. So, if you can just raise them up so we can make sure you are an evolved human. You are? He said he saw a couple missing. Those aren't thumbs,those bootleggers(?) -- yeah." _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________