Note: If you wish to use the following information, please refer back to http://www.collectiveunconscious.org/ All quotes by Maynard James Keenan, transcribed by: Galen (gaspcdz@yahoo.com). The following are quotes compiled from the year specified. All quotes are available throughout the site along with the corresponding setlists,recording info and other various information. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 1994 _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Maynardism: "Are any of you familiar with the works of Bill Hicks? Bil Hicks is a comedian...very, very funny & talented man. About a month ago, he died of pancreatic cancer - a great loss. He was a good friend & a wonderful person. I suggest you look for his tapes, if you are into comedy at all; he has a tape out called Denagerous & a tape of it called Relentless. His name's Bill Hicks...do yourself a favor, very up-lifting man." Maynardism: "I really, really, really fucking hate New York City. You guys are allright, you guys are cool but what the fuck's up with the cabs? Is that a requirement to smell like toe-jam & shit? One at a time, please." Maynardism: "This is another song, no, really" Maynardism: "This song is dedicated to our friends -- the kids in the hall" Maynardism: "So, uh, knock knock? Little Boy Blue. Michael Jackson" Maynardism: "Elvis lives in a trailor in Kalamazoo" Maynardism: "I don't know if you're aware of it or not but tonight, St. Andrews , Jesus Lizard's playing. So I'll try to make this as quick as possible so we can get over there & enjoy our favorite band. But, while we're all here, it'll be much better over there" Maynardism: "Um. Hi, we're the Dream Warriors from Los Angeles, CA. Welcome to sound check. Last time we were in London we played at a much bigger place. This is more fun, we kind of like to cater to our more selective audience" Maynardism: "This is a love song, goes out to Kevin Willis." Maynardism: "It's Skips birthday today. If you know, uh, any gay men who would like to go out with Skip tonite." Maynardism: "This is a love song, it goes out to Sarah." Maynardism: "This is a song about.... anal sex." Maynardism: "What does that say overhead? That's very strange"; "Man, it's gotta be something" Maynard: "Are any of you familiar with the comedian Bill Hicks? If not, you should get yourself acquainted with Mr. Hicks - he's done a lot of wonderful work, very inspirational. In addition, he is a friend of ours but a month or so ago, Bill passed away of pancreatic cancer. He died at, uh, 32. Very unfortunate. On a lighter note, he, uh, he did live a pretty full life. He did more by 32 that most of us won't do by 65 so that's kind of good. Think uh, the message that Bill would of left behind is a something to the effect of: live your life as fully as you can, without fear, without compromise, this song goes out to him. It's called 4 Degrees." Maynardism: "Failure had an interesting time crossing the border , let's just say there was some paraphenalia. Doctor jelly-finger gave them the thourough going over." Maynardism: "Anybody ever heard of Ravenna, OH? I would've graduated from there in '82 but a spaceship came down & abducted me. saved my life. I moved to the thriving metropolis of Scottsville, MI." Maynardism: "We were just here a while ago -- nevermind" Maynardism: "There's certain people in the world called architects & when they build buildings - they make them for certain things. I don't think this thing was made for music; it was made for hockey. That's why they call those other places concert halls & theatres. But we will do the best we can. Allright?" Maynardism: "What exactly does this mean? What?" Maynardism: "This is the last nite of the tour" Maynardism: "So, uh, after the show, we're gonna have a moustache-camaro contest, thats a moustache-camaro contest in the back, so all you young boys with too much macho energy can show up back there. I'm going to be honest with you, ok? I think, uh, this entire world revolves and honesty and taking risks so I'm just going to go ahead & do that. If it was raining someplace & you were there, I wouldn't pay money to come & see you". Maynardism: "We have a guest. We have Ned the Bull here. This is Ned Ryerson, Needle nosed Ned Ryerson. Let me give you a little word of advice: if you see thsi guy with a gun, don't go near him" (speaking to & about Layne Stayley) Maynardism: "Hup, hup, hup, hup...hiya hippies!" Maynardism: "So, this is kinda like Woodstock but not really at all? Are any of you on acid? Cool..." Maynardism: "Hello hippies. Apparently, Bulgaria beat Germany 2:1. If anybody cares. I don't. We'll just make the rock a little more spicy. Apparently we're Tool - this is another song" MJK: "Ok... line up, in alphabetical order over there, starting with the J's" Paul:"This song is called - Justin's a cunt!. Heh.The last Temptation of Jim, that's what it's called" MJK: "Before we get started I have something I really need to get off my chest; it's really important I think I need to say this and share it with you --- 'buseeviioa alla oh dante so are you people of aarheyy judjenson ohhl of the children of huh allaavy love revolotion! What do you say?! (mumbling speech incomprehensively) Paul: "Let's talk about freedom one more time & that women have the right to their bodies" MJK: "Baaaaah- baaaaaaaaaaaaah - bahhhh" (making sheep noise to people in crowd) Maynardism: "Thank you very much, up next - the Mighty Rollins Band. Thank you" Maynardism: "This is a love song; it goes out to those who have a lot of faith in us." Maynardism: "Hello. Hello, friends. You fags ok?" Maynardism: "So, apparently, we're Tool." Maynardism: "Do you hippies love each other? You love each other? You lie." Maynardism: "So, uh, someone needs to help me out here. I took a bunch of your acid -- your, no we're Santa Cruz...no, you are Santa Cruz & we're Tool, right? Gonna say, didn't think all you guys would fit in that bus. There is a misconception we should clear up right away. We are not professional" _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________